Something New - Teacher Bio:

I’m going to start a new feature on my blog. It’s titled Teacher Bio.
First up is Patrick Duce.

Patrick Duce:

Age: The right side of 25.
Height: A little bit too tall. The kind of height that makes you feel like a shorty.
Nationality: British
Home Town: Lincoln
Favorite Food: Meat
Favorite Drink: Beer

How did we meet?

Patrick and I were introduced to each other on my first night in South Korea. It also happened to be his birthday. I landed, was picked up by my boss, taken to my apartment, then jumped into a taxi and made my way to Itaewon. There were around 20 people celebrating two peoples birthday. I joined Chris, Patrick, and Haji at their table. Later that evening I discovered that Patrick was a fellow Tottenham fan, it was instant friendship from that moment on.

What is he like? (briefly)

Patrick spent around 6 months travelling Asia before descending upon South Korea for a years teaching. He lives quite far away from me, therefore we meet at weekends in central Seoul. In my first 5 months or so we would meet pretty much every weekend. Itaewon or Hongdae were our chosen locations, both offering an abundance of places for food and drink. Patrick is a very tall fun loving guy. A very sociable character that can embrace any soul into a conversation, which is his most likable attribute. He likes a drink. Some would say that he is always the last man standing. There have been many occasions where I have been ready to go home, but having a strong character beside you allows you to reach new levels of drunkenness. He likes to take a good picture, he knows how to take a good picture. I think he loves his Apple Mac more than he loves his bank balance.

Funny Story:

Pat, Chris and I spent a day walking around Yongsan Electronics market. Patrick was out to spend a lot of money on an Apple Mac laptop. He knew what he wanted and he knew where to find it – bish-bash-bosh – it was in his hands. Chris left to meet his lady friend and Pat and I hit Itaewon for a few celebratory drinks to welcome his Apple Mac to society. Many many drinks later we decided enough was enough. We left the bar and started to walk down hooker hill. Hooker Hill is probably the most repulsive street in South Korea, maybe even Asia. Pat stopped briefly to roll a cigarette. Once completed we walked on for 50 metres of so, suddenly Pat turned to me and said “Where the fuck is my laptop?” – He’d only gone and left it on a step half way up hooker hill. He ran back up the hill to discover it was still there!! Imagine having just spent well over £1,000 to lose it 3 hours later. He then demanded that I slapped him across the face and to call him something unpleasant. I did so and we walked on. Image is of Pat and Apple Mac selling man.

Most memorable moment with Pat:

Without any consideration or deliberation it has to be the Carling Cup Final. There is nothing like a goof football match to bring people together. Beating Chelsea, lifting the cup and all the emotions that comes with such an occasion will live long in the memory. Image is defining moment in the final.

Grandest joint achievement:

A rainy summer day. We had made plans to hit a music festival outside of Seoul. Once we had reached Itaewon, which is where we were set to catch the bus, we decided that a music festival in the monsoon-ing rain wasn’t the ideal way to spend a Saturday. It was midday and we thought that a beer and a game of pool would be a good location to rearrange our plans. Thirteen hours and countless games of pool later Pat and I found ourselves in the same bar and at the same pool table. The achievement in all this was our stint at the pool table. In Seoul Pub it’s always winner stays on. Pat and I ruled the rooster for around 7 hours straight. People came, people went, but we remained victorious and proud. Our grandest joint achievement. Image is of Pat winning pool and darts at the same time, in Seoul Pub.

What does the future hold?

Patrick has just 8 weeks to go on his contract. He will be returning to London to follow some other dreams. I’m guessing a summer of reunions. Pat’s presence in Seoul will be missed.

Rice. Rice. Rice. Rice. Rice. Rice

Rice.

I wanted to talk to you about rice.

What is rice? How often do you eat it? What do you eat with it? Do you have a preferred method of cooking rice? Slow cooker, or a quick boil? Do you have a preferred type of rice? Brown? White?

When I used to live in England I used to eat rice maybe once a week, sometimes only once a month. When I was a boy my favortite meal was fish fingers x10, lots of white rice and a can of baked beans.

I used to eat rice with a Thai curry or some other kind of curry. I would only ever eat it with some kind of curry. When getting a take-away from the Chinese, Thai or Indian we would always order one rice each, and every time there would be a plethora of rice left over. Rice was a bit of a hassle to cook. Timings were always out, sometimes being undercooked and therefore a bit chewy. Other times over cooked and a bit too stodgy. Everyone’s preference was different to that of others, unfortunately at the same meal, resulting in someone either not eating their rice, or leaving a substantial portion to one side. Ask yourself, how many times have you said or heard? “I can’t eat all that rice” or “it’s ok, you don’t have to eat all that rice”. How many times have you seen people polish off a big meal, but leaving a small corner of rice, on the plate?

Rice in Korea is more a religion than anything else. So much so that when a Korean asks another Korean “Have you eaten today?” it actually translates into “Have you eaten rice today?”

I have been here for around 170 days and I reckon that I have eaten rice about 150 of those days. And for about 100 of them, probably twice a day. Am I sick of eating rice? Do I crave a good roasted potato? Or a portion of chips? Or do I wish I could wrap my fork and spoon around a delicious portion of spaghetti? Do I desire some mashed potato next to my BBQ’d chicken? No, is the simple answer. I have taken rice to another level. An Asian level if you like.

The Korean teachers at school actually get a little stressed when lunch is served and rice isn’t served. Occasionally we have some kind of western style lunch. Perhaps spaghetti bolognaise or some kind of fried chicken. These are the days that rice doesn’t feature. I find myself a little lost without rice as well.

In the last few months I have discovered the perfect meal. It’s cheap, tasty and is second to none, at enhancing my chop-stick skills. Quick note, I have used chopsticks around 160 of those 170 days. So the meal is umm, rice, a small can of tuna and some ‘Gim’. ‘Gim’, pronounced ‘Kim’, is dried seaweed. It comes in small rectangular sheets that are about the size of the palm of your hand. I pick up a sheet with my chopsticks, place it on my plate. Then I pick up a bullet of rice and place it onto the Gim. I then widen my chopsticks to go around the Gim and then in one deadly movement the chopsticks surround the Gim, around the rice, forming a perfect blanket. In it goes. Salty and extremely nourish. You must try.

I leave you with a picture of some rice.

Video Time: Stickers Please. So so cute.

If you don't find Sarah cute in this video, then there's somehting wrong with you. She is not even four years old, just listen to her pronunciation - pure cuteness!!!
(St-Sticker Pwease)

The Tipping Point

I thought, as I have recently passed my half way point of my contract, it would be fitting to have a half-time team talk. Or you may like to refer to it as a “time to take stock and reflect” on what I believe has been a ‘tipping point’ in my life.

The above reference to a tipping point comes from the factual book written by Malcolm Gladwell. In short, and my own words, it documents real-life scenarios/situations where things have dramatically changed, either for the good or the bad, by something (in retrospect) very small.

I have recently been looking into my next ‘port of call’. I had no idea the countless and endless opportunities that are now open to me. I can pretty much teach in any of the 190 odd countries that make up the earth we stand upon. Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, Japan, China, Taiwan, Ecuador, Bolivia, Peru, Chile, Argentina, Brazil, New Mexico, Italy, Bulgaria, Poland. Basically, any country that has children, businessmen and umm human beings and the desire to know our globally desired language would be willing to give me a job of some sort.

With a years experience safely tucked under my belt, I can now go to ‘any’ of the countries mentioned without too much hassle. On deciding to leave London and start teaching English as a second language I was, unknowingly, opening myself to a lifetime of free travel and an abundance of unbeatable experiences.

So I conclude that I believe that the tipping point of my life was at the moment I posted my resume on the Hi-Teacher.com website. That was the moment my life changed, for the good. If there are any umm’ers and rrrrr-ers out there, unsure of their next travel plan or travelling adventure, then take stock for a moment and think what teaching could do for you.

OK, something a little lighter on the reading eyes. Here is a sample of my 8 year olds writing. We were reading a story in class. In the story a guy called Lee lost his cat. I asked to kids to answer: ‘Where did the cat go?’. This was Emily’s answer. Un-edited.

“Flora want to make lee suprize. So she went out. When she finsh gave birth to four kittens, she back to home. Flora was right. He (Lee) suprize…..! This is my anser.

The image you see above is of some street advertising outside a gentlemen’s clothing store, which is adjacent to my apartment block. It made me wonder 'How powerful this type of advertising is?' We, or should I say the worldly brands, spend hundreds of thousands on extravagant advertising campaigns, whether they’re on TV or on billboards – etc etc etc. I think this is a genuinely attractive campaign. It even shows how the suit remains sophistically smart, even in windy conditions. I’m yet to purchase a suit from this outlet, but it does cross my mind once a day.

Video Time: "I love England"

This is one of my kids Robin. He is declaring his love for my homeland. Of course he is getting a little encouragement from yours truly.

Under the Headlines

I just received my second edition of 'The Guardian Weekly' and I felt obliged to comment on a couple of pointless stories. Before I do so, I would like to state that "I like 'The Guardian Weekly' and think that it's a must for UK expats". I'm not here to bad mouth the publication or be in any way detrimental to the newspaper or the editors within the newspaper...........
Story one:
Scientists, psychologists, men in white suits and many many mosquito fish are collaborating together in the University of Pahua, in Italy. The purpose is to confirm that this specific species of fish can count. Not only can it count, but it can count to the high-rise number of four (4). Wow, was my reaction as I read, whilst peddling on the exercise bike. What fabulous and thought provoking information. It also lead me to my on conclusion on this story. Of course fish can count to 'just' four. They get to four and then forget where they are and have to start again. duh!!
Story Two:
This was a story about the rising number of people living, off the record, in various locations across the UK. The focus was on the suspected number of inhabitants of Heathrow and Gatwick airports. They report that around 30, regular, people doss down at night at Gatwick airport and believe that the number could be 'even higher' at Heathrow. Again, Wow. Although this time it did provoke some genuine interesting thoughts. I wrote my dissertation on 'The Power of the Media on the Mind'; case studies, within my publication, focused on computer games, newspapers, the US news broadcast stations and films, TV etc. My angle was 'who was to blame' for certain documented frailties from those under the influence of the powerful media. So this lead me to my conclusion on this story. Are Steven Spielberg, Tom hanks and Dream Works to blame for the increase in airport inhabitants???? Did their work in the feature film 'The Terminal' glamourise the opportunities to 'consistently stay overnight' in an airport and therefore gradually increasing the numbers???? Maybe!!!
The picture above is of Saint Patrick's Day celebrations in Seoul. Nothing Irish in this picture. Just an opportunity to show off some crafty work using Photoshop.

The man that diced with pride - and more

This set of stairs reminds me of a rather amusing story. One chilly Saturday afternoon I was making my way back from a day of meandering. An guy, in his 50's I would say, was making his way up the stairs. The stairs are split into 3 levels of around 20 steps. He was staggering his way up the first level, just about to hit the rest point. However, he had been, quite clearly, drinking a lot of Soju. He started to fall back, balancing on his one foot. He was destined to fall back on his head and maybe roll down a few steps before stalling in a heap. Miraculously he managed to pivot on his one foot and then run down the 18/17 steps he had just walked up. His momentum meant he had to jump 2/3 steps at a time. His momentum picked up even more so as he flew down. As you can see in the image there is a rather delicious looking fruit stool at the base of the mountain. Unfortunately the story would have been SO much better if he had plunged into the neatly stacked oranges and grapes. Again, rather miraculously, he managed to come to a tip-toed stop at the foot of the pears and apples. His final move was reminiscent of a man on a tight-rope. I gave him 50/50, it was either going to be the fruit or safe land. When his ordeal came to an end, he simply turned around and started his climb up the 60 or so steps once again. This time without any hitches.

I'm not sure if I mentioned 'White Day' to you all before.
Basically White Day falls on the 14th March. It makes up one part of a love trilogy. The first part falls on the 14th of February and is commonly known as valentines day. The second is White day and the third and final installment is called Black Day.
Valentines Day is slightly different here. The women purchase gifts for the men.
White Day is the mens turn to cater for the females.
Black Day is for the unloved. As punishment for their lonely lives they're required to eat a Chinese dish, that is predominately black. I think it's all a bit tongue in cheek, but some people take it seriously.
Tomorrow is White Day. Hence the over sized 'White' cuddly bear. I didn't buy it, in case you were wondering.

I can't recall how much I have divulged about the Korean subway system. I'll hit you with some hard simple facts.
It has a higher ceiling than the London Underground. It has air conditioning for the summer and heated seats for the winter. It costs about 50p for a journey - standard. It very rarely stops in-between stops. Umm, I'm an a commodity when I'm on it. It's classic, when I get on at my stop, It is like a big naked man has just walked on selling watches the size of baseball gloves. What I'm trying to say is, everyone looks at me.
One story. Giovanna, Anthony and I were waiting at Oryudong station. The train pulled up and it was looking very sparse. I commented to my fellow English teachers that this is as empty as it has been at this time of day, ever. As the doors opened and we began to board we were flabbergasted at what was at our feet. A big sleeping man was sprawled across the door, on the floor. Another case of Soju intolerance I believe. He was motionless for a few stops. We were a little concerned that he had had his last moments on the train. As we got off the train he emerged from his hole and rose up like an extra from 'Resident Evil' (A zombie movie for those at the frowning stage). I'm kind of glad we got off when we did. Who knows what happened in that carriage as the train pulled away.

Finally, here she is again. The awesome Sarah. When she starts smiling it's contagious. Her nose is so funny. It is like her parents forgot to give her a nose and at the last minute, went to the 'nose shop' and found the smallest, roundest and softest nose possible.
All for now - see-the-later!

Taste buds a-flowing.........

So my father signed me up to a subscription to 'The Guardian Weekly'. My first installment arrived a few, slightly warmer, days ago. Quick note, temperatures were around the 15 mark today. Back to the Guardian. The back page was a joy - it had a picture of Spurs lifting the Carling Cup. Inside there were a few stories that triggered off some emotions, linking in with my new life here in Korea. So one story, that I will focus on today, was an insight into the troubled 'bacon' market back in the UK. It stressed that supermarkets, without mentioning any names, were seeking piggies from abroad due to inferior prices. You can't really argue with the supermarkets. They are a business and making money is their sole propriety. However, it is down to us the buying and eating public. But once again, we all live in a money-go-round society and we just buy any odd ball strip of bacon or any rolled up sausage to place next to our beans and egg.
To be honest there are many pros and cons on what we, the supermarkets and the Jones' should do to help save the poor English farmers in their clean aired, rural and pig swarmed grass lands.
Here's a thought. The Korean supermarkets are up and beyond splendidness. The fresh food section is about the size of a football pitch. Walking around it makes you hungry. The best thing is you can try pretty much try anything. Obviously an exaggeration, but the meat section is collated with a plethora of gas cookers working their magic on some kind of marinated meat. The dairy section is decorated with a plethora of cute women hollering passers by to try their cheese, milk drink, yogurt etc etc. The bread section is plastered with pastry nibbles, the tea and coffee section has a coffee machine, that is manned by yet another cute women handing out small tasters of the latest instant coffee granule. Every level has more and more opportunities to taste and test.
Why can't our supermarkets have more opportunities to test and try. Who knows what it could do for our home brewed goods. Probably nothing! But hey, something I felt like getting off my chest. If you ever do come to Korea and have no money just hit the supermarkets and munch down on pretty much anything you fancy, for free.

A little bit of this and a little bit of that.

I thought I would blog about all sorts of things.

I'm not entirely sure if I have given you the lowdown of my neighborhood. Oryudong is its name and SW Seoul is its location. It comprises of a very long and wide birthed high street. On one side of the street we have a subway station, many bus stops, restaurant after restaurant, noraebangs, Family Marts, apartment blocks and shops selling stuff ranging from fishing rods to dog accessories. The most significant thing is the countless Motels that are set back from the high street - Motels are where middle aged men take their paid ladies or their love affairs. On the other side we have banks, restaurant after restaurant, Family Marts, apartment blocks, noraebangs, many bus stops and a large parade of old ladies selling a wide range of groceries. The ladies sit on a small stall surrounded by, mostly, vegetables and are fixed there on a daily basis. The joy of the street market is that there's a rotation system that you will only notice with a delayed stay in the area. In the past 6 months I have seen Monkey nuts, squid, mint candies, socks, rotary chickens, chestnuts, FAKE North Face jackets, pots and pans, gold painted piggy banks and a whole host of other unique necessities.

OK, something else. I started teaching my new kindergarten classes last week. So far, so hectic. We had two new teachers come and go within the space of three days, and to date, they haven't been replaced. Needless to say our schedule is choker-block at the moment. So much so that on Thursday I taught from 9:30, to 5:30 without a break. I'm sorry, I did have 10 minutes but in that time I had to photocopy some homework sheets, brush my teeth, drink a cup of water, breath 6 times and run away from the sticker crazy elementary kids. BUT, I'm not here complaining, I'm merely documenting the facts. My new red class have an average age of 3. No jokes, they're 3 years old and yes their parents have sent them to an English school. They can't even read VERY simple Korean words. They go by the names of Jeremy, Cherry and Sarah. Sarah is the single most cutest thing on this planet -FACT. Her laugh, her smile, her babyish mannerisms, the way she says "I'm happy", when asked "How are you?", the way she falls back into her chair when I put a sticker on her nose, the way she falls into fits of laughter as I say "Hello, my name is MR. Pink" as I hold up the pink color pencil. The way she stole a candy from my candy box today, she saw that I saw her and she KNEW that I wouldn't say anything. They way she holds my hand on her way to brush her teeth after lunch time. The way she licked her student book today and then tried to lick my face. Her name is Sarah and she brings the hugest smile to my face when I go into school. I hereby introduce you to Sarah - Everyone say "HELLO, Sarah".

I will now introduce you to one of my new afternoon classes. They go by the names of Bookie, June, Jeffy, Wendy, Emily, Olivia, Yunha, Justin and Sara - they're all 7-8 years old. They are all kids that graduated from our kindergarten. I have never taught them before, but have been around their company for the last 6 months. They are phenomenal. Chris and Jeff teacher have trained these kids in true professionalism. They don't speak a word of Korean in class. Sometimes I find myself just sitting there and listening to them. One conversation went like this the other day.
They were talking to eachother - NOT ME.
Emily: "Teacher, Wendy spoke Korean"
Wendy: "Emily!! NO, I don't. I say any, not anio"
Sarah: "Korean, yes. You say anio, anio you said, you said, I hear, you said."
They did this about three of four times with a slight variation each time. Then others joined in.
June: "Wendy speak Korean one time as well. She many times in Yellow class.
Wendy: "Yes, but you say Korean every day, I see you."
June: "No, I say."
Toby Teacher: "It's OK." (Then I start to attack them all by tickling them.)
All class: "arrrggghhhhh, TEACHER, NO, hehehehehehehehehe, TEACHER!!!!!!"

This class is going to be a joy to teach. I find my main job as a teacher is getting the kids to say stuff in English. "Repeat after me" is one phrase that I say around 300-400 hundred times a week. "Stop speaking Korean" is another over used, but essential phrase. I have no fears that I will need to ever use it with these set of gems. Everyone say "HELLO, gems".


My last documentation today will be very brief. I finally have some very significant evidence as to why Sean's English ability hasn't improved, at all, in the last 6 months. The picture below clearly shows that whilst my attention is on the white board Sean is taking his opportunity to look elsewhere. I'm now lead to believe, following this evidence, that he does this every time I look away. This helps explain the lack of progress made. I'm now taking extra teacher training in 'How to write and draw cack handed whilst not looking at a white board'. It's obvious which one Sean is....... Everyone say "OI, Sean".