Friday, July 31, 2009

Broken down again (in a good way)

The unthinkable has happened. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I tried hard, not very hard, but hard enough to prevent this from happening. But, they did it, they did it again. They got me. I moulded an emotional barrier around myself with all natural materials possible, but they chipped, chopped and ground away until they finally broke me down. I have put my hand up, I have thrown in the white towel, I love these kids. God Damn it.....

My new kids in Yellow and Green class have finally made an emotional impact on me. When I took them over five months ago, I knew in my mind that I would be leaving Kids Herald School. So in order to make this 'leaving' as easy as possible, I said to myself not to get too involved with the kids on an emotional level. I made a serious conscious decision to care less about my job on all aspects, with the kids being the pinnacle of this. My last kids had a tremendous impact on my contract decision making, hence staying at the school a second year, a decision I have no regrets about at all, quite the opposite. What I really craved was a peaceful departure from my tenure at Kids Herald School.

It was impossible though. It was going well. I was able to teach them well, to the best of my ability, but keeping a safe distance from them. Having a larger number of kids (9 and 8) in the classes, than before (6 and 4), made this mission possible. However, no matter how much I pushed them away, literally, they kept chipping away, looking for weaknesses, and I finally cracked. Here are some short profiles on a couple of kids that stick out. With pictures of course. You could say these are the reasons.

Eric. Currently top of the tree. Number one kid. A comedy genius. An old man in a young mans body. He has a peeing problem. He goes to the toilet about 10 times a day, in fact, maybe more. He has a fantastic sense of humor. Situation comedy. I have never seen this in a child so young before. I could learn a thing or two from this kid. He knows he's cute. He loves to pose for a picture. He always questions a question, with a question. Comedy in itself (for a 7 year old anyway). He has artistic talent, he draws creatively. Everyones wants to sit next to him at lunch. Everyone wants to be him. He is Eric.
This is Eric, posing, yet again, for the camera, styling his new hat.

And his new clothes.


Lucy. Currently top of the tree of girls. She was called Cute Lucy last year, for obvious reasons. She's cute. This year I call her Lucy Loo, I call Wendy, Wendy Woo. It sounds good, kids love it. Lucy is very cute. She's a typical cute girl. She's a 7 year old with the mind of a rich, pretty, sweet 16. Daddy looks after her. She expects to get what she wants. If she's moody at school, leave her alone, if she's happy, then keep her thay way. Sounds horrible, but, it's charming. If she's smiling, then no doubt, you'll be smiling too. That what she brings to the class. She is Lucy.
This is her, at the forefront of this image, presenting me with a green tea, tea bag.

Here she's again, showing me her new book.


and here they are together......

Monday, July 20, 2009

Hold the FRONT PAGE

This may be my third blog in about 10 days, which some might say is a little bit too much, but this next update is significant. Most of you know that I am not the most motivated of readers, and my history of reading is a fairly recent and lacking in weight. In fact that's probably an understatement.

I was never a reader as a child and when I was at university a maybe read the odd book here and there, (one book over the course of a few months, maybe more). After uni, I maintained this same pattern, with the occasional burst of two books in quick succession. Things really picked up when I moved to Korea, and I started reading books back to back with the occasional break in between to rest my poor young brain.

I set a new record a few weeks back when a read a book called "The Koreans", a book about Korean people, yep, in about 3 weeks. VERY good for me. Then I beat that record by reading "The Aquariums of Pyongyang", a memoir from an North Korean Concentration Camp escapee, yep, in about 12 days. Well, yesterday I thrashed that record and probably set an unbeatable one by reading a book in under 12 hours, plus 6 of those hours, I was sleeping. The book was/is "South of the Border, West of the Sun", By Japanese author Haruki Murakami. I thought this was significant enough, and worthy enough to warrant a blog.

I now plan to take a six month break from reading. I'm going to take up watching You Tube clips of UK's Big Brother, and maybe some clips of some other mind numbing **** that can be found online. Actually no, I'm hoping to find another page turner. Recommendations please.

Oh, 6 weeks remaining.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

My Home.


This was taken a few days before my departure, back in August 2007. No looking back.....

I'm currently perched on top of my tree, looking down, waiting for my prey like a hungry, ravenous, blood thirsty vulture. My prey is England and my waiting time will be exactly 45 days until I can get my hands on my lunch. My lunch being the things that I miss about home, the things that have ruined the last 3 months in Korea, because they're the things that I have been whining for, the things that have distracted me from truly enjoying recent life in Korea.

What are they?

Well, some of them will be obvious choices, others are just things that people take for granted until they're away.

Talking English to my dogs:
Quite weird, but it dawned on me last week when I met my friends new puppies. The puppies were just a year old, and had been brought up by Koreans. Therefore they spoke Korean.......??!!! (you know what I mean)
I wanted to hang out with the dogs, walk with them, chat like people chat with dogs. Suddenly I felt a wave of strangeness. I thought "I don't know what to say to a Korean dog"...... It baffled me. I think another way of looking at this is that I miss Biffer and Douglas, the two big dogs in my life. Looking forward to hanging out with the fat pooches, watching TV, eating peanut butter on toast, while they watch me, eating peanut butter on toast, and drooling.

Biffer sniffing.

Picking up a multi-read Metro newspaper:
Travelling on London’s vintage Underground is always a pleasure since I've been out of the country. A memory that lives on, which is one that I miss, is the moment before the doors open. I always look into the carriage to see if there's a newspaper lying around. At certain times of the day, and on certain lines, you're guaranteed a newspaper, and sometimes even a choice. If there's only one or two copies lying on the dirt ridden floor, then it becomes a head to head with fellow passengers to be, to get that multi-read newspaper.

Options!!

Knowing 'What's On', and when:
Watching TV in Korea is fun. They're various English channels with a lot of decent programming, there is also a lot of mind numbing bulls**t that a certain ratio of the worlds population are sadly into, and learn from. I have a cable situation set-up, I get about 60 channels, mostly Korean of course. With my level of Korean understanding still below basic, I sometimes sit back and pass my own interpretation as to what is going on, on the screen. This can be fun. Some thing that does annoy me is not knowing what is on next, later, tomorrow, next week, etc etc. Having a TV guide is one of those things that I have missed on a daily basis. Sky + is really the most luxurious platforms to watch TV, and I have missed it so much. Can't wait to sit down, with peanut butter on toast, while the fat pooch drools onto my newly ironed white shorts, and check up on the TV schedule......

Big TV please.....

Eating Humus:
I have missed this sooooo much. I can't wait to slice up a yellow pepper and dip the hell out of it into some humus. Then toast up some pita bread and dip the hell out of it into the humus. I have asked many Korean people about humus, doesn't exist. I've been to many foreign food markets, doesn't exist. I sliced up a red pepper yesterday, munched down on my first slice, without anything exciting to dip into, result?, nothing, no joy, disappointment, it wasn't the same. The more I think about humus, the more I miss it. Family and friends aside, I seriously think that this is one of the things I have missed the most. Who would have thought eh?!

Definately some humus in this London shop!!!

That’ll do for now. Apologies for any typos, too tired to read over it and check. You do it for me!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Spending a Penny? take a minute



An empty bottle of water. It will make sense later.

Ever had to take stock before you walk into a bathroom? Not talking about your bathroom at home, but maybe the one you use at work, or maybe the one you use at your local, or the one in your favourite department store. I’ll be talking about the trials and tribulations of my trips to the bathroom at my Korean Kindergarten.

Going to the bathroom at work/school isn’t ever a simple procedure. It has turned into a calculated task, that isn’t as simple as ‘spending a penny’. “Can I go to the bathroom please?” is one of the very first full sentences the kids will learn at English school. The boys bathroom consists of three fully functional urinals, two child sized sit-downs, and then two adult sized sit-downs. There are also another three urinals, but they’re out of order, always have been, always will be. The urinals are probably two feet shorter than your custom urinal. This obviously means I have to immediately bend at the knees, which at first created a whole new peeing technique, now after two years I have mastered. The main problem about going to the bathroom is the kids fascination at what you have got. Every time, EVERYTIME, I’m in the bathroom peeing, and a kid walks in, you can be assured that they will stand at the urinal next to you, and they will cast an eye over. Again, at first I had to get used to this, but now I’m already well and truly shielded from any possible on-looking curiously minded Korean child, before they walk in. However, this doesn’t stop them. This didn’t happen to me, but it happened to Anthony. He was shielding, thanks to our self trained technique, but the kid wasn’t letting that deter him, he simply walked behind Anthony and then ducked down, between his legs and tried to look up. Luckily, Anthony had shaken and just put the attraction away, if not, then little Kyle may have had an early shower. Unbelievable!!!!

So kids ‘looking on’ is one thing, another is the kids very own technique of peeing. Some kids have some dignity and they lower the front of their trouser and pee, conventional style. Some kids undue their trouser and then pull them down, with pants, to the floor. Then they lift their t-shirts up to their chin, and if that wasn’t enough they stand back and fire it into the urinal. It’s like a well choreographed performance. The beauty of this is that the boys bathroom door is facing the girls bathroom door. The girls find it insanely funny, why wouldn’t they?, when they see a boy doing this. To be honest, it disturbs me quite a lot, needless to say if one of the little pee-ers is doing this when I walk in, I give them a minute, wait patiently until they have re-dressed themselves, before I take my turn.

So peeing has it troubles, how about sit-down time? If there is ever a moment that needs the ultimate care and attention at Kids Herald School, then this is it. If a kid sees you going into, or out of, the cubicle then fully expect a comment. The comment will then be taken out into the corridor where he will, definitely, tell anyone in sight that Toby Teacher is taking a shit. He will say in Korean, “Toby Teacher is pooing”. These days I never let this situation happen, I plan my cubicle usage very carefully. In the past, I have departed the bathroom to a chorus of kids pointing, giggling, basically pointing and shouting the word “POO”.

One last trial of going to the bathroom is in the afternoons. The cleaning lady washes the floors well before the day is up. Her technique is thorough. She mops, scrubs etc. then to wash everything she pulls the hose and drenches every last inch of the bathroom. The water takes a good hour to dry up and wash down the drain. During this hour, it’s a very questionable walking surface. The slippers that I wear to work, and perfect for ice skating. I have fallen down twice during this time. I have slipped and nearly fallen about 50 times. Every time my heart skips a beat. This is just another thing that crosses my mind each and every time I need to pee.

I need to pee about 10 or so times a day, I’m guessing. I drink so so so much water at work. A new hobby if you like. I drink so much, and go to the bathroom so much that one class of mine call me bathroom teacher. This seems a fitting way to end the blog.