Sunday, October 26, 2008

------------is---------------


The image you see is of a street side Baseball hitting net thingy. They're all over the place. You pay (500 won) 20p (about) and then stand patiently as a tempremental machine hursl down 15 or so baseballs. As you can see from the second image, I seem to be treating it like a game of cricket. Getting my front foot to the pitch of the ball, with a huge stride, and then top edging it into the air for 'myself' to catch.


I thought it would only be fair to finally shed a little truth on some things about my new life. I have always heaped praise on my kids and my new profession. Teaching the little ones is more often than not, a breeze. The kids enjoy the challenge of a second language and I certainly enjoy delivering it to them, so both parties sit nicely when the class starts, motivation is buoyant. I have been guilty of divulging to you, just, the positives, the geniuses, the prodigy's, the talents, the spectacles, to summarise, the kids that are good!!!!

This blog is going to be dedicated to all those kids that struggle with English. The kids that are below average. The kids that would rather draw than (most kids that struggle with English seem to be excellent artists, which gives me comfort that they will succeed in life, with or without my help) say "Hello" and "Goodbye". The kids that somehow manage to forget just about everything that they shouldn't and remember pretty much everything they shouldn't. These are the kids that give me a headache during the day and the kids that have parents that are living in some unknown universe where common sense and understanding do not prevail, anywhere, at anytime, at all..... PERIOD!!!

One kid, who I dearly like, but who I really didn't like, at all, not one iota, is Richard. I used to teach him (which is why I didn't like him but do now) in the afternoon classes. He is aged 8 and has been studying English (apparently) for two years. If you absorb the fact that he has been studying the language for two years then you would say that his level, now, is somewhere between outstanding and remarkable. I must confer that when I say outstanding, I mean outstandingly poor and therefore remarkably low, considering his situation. Kids at the same age and with the same opportunities and material infiltrated to them over the past two years are light years ahead of him. Bless him, you may be thinking and that is exactly what I think now. But when I taught him it was just plain frustration, but at times so hilariously funny that I couldn't help but pat him on the back and say thank you.

His reading was diabolical, but it was his improvised sentence making that has brought us all together on this blog page. is, is, is, is and is. I will explain. OK, so all the kids open their books and we read a story, that lasts about 15 pages and about 10 minutes. After, we have around 15 minutes of open discussion about the story. A great opportunity for the kids to make some sentences about the story and accompanying imagery. I ask a few questions and they give a few answers. Example:
Toby Teacher: What is the boy doing on page 45?
Glen: He's walking to the house.
Toby Teacher: Good job. What is the boy wearing?
Daniel: He's wearing a blue t-shirt and black pants
(Trousers, where I'm from mate)
Toby Teacher: Good job. What is the girl doing?

OK, cue man of the hour, Richard.

Richard: Girl is, house is, walk to the, is happy.

I could reel off a host of impressive sentences, all flooding with use after use of ???is ???is ???is. He has some how picked up the tradition of using 'is' before and after pretty much every other word. It's now so contagious that Anthony Teacher and I, jokingly speak to each other in Richardish (I just named it). This is an example of Anthony and I asking about each others plans.

Anthony: Is, tonight, house, is, doing, is what? (Translates, What are you doing tonight?)
Toby: I, is, house, stay, is, food, then, is, eat, is, sleep, is, watching TV, umm, is.

Just a little harmless fun at the expense of Richard, one of the less fortunate kids at our school.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Attention: BOW


It’s been too long. I have neglected my duties as a blog writer. I have no excuses apart from I’m working a lot harder these days and I’m doing a lot of extra hours. Anyway, I promised a blog about bowing.

Koreans, and other Asian cultures, like to bow. It is a tradition that goes back way before I was born and you and your mates and their mates. I’m not a historian, neither am I that interested in dates, so I won’t give you a specific date, I will just let you know that it started a long time ago.

The point of my message to you is that I, too, like to bow. I have moulded it into my new persona. I do it to my friends, my co-workers, even to the kids for a laugh. I obviously do it to shop workers, restaurant waiters, general service providers and doo-gooders. One time that I did it and I thought to myself “That was bloody stupid”, was when I was lifting weights in the gym. One of the trainers was doing his routine stroll around the gym, whilst correcting peoples grabs, pulls, strains, stretches, pushes, lifts etc etc etc. As he passed me I quickly remembered my newly acquired persona and bowed. Mid-bow I realised I was in mid lift of about 40Kg of weights with the aid of my back muscles. I quickly amended my all round multi-technique and resumed normality, in the relaxed position. I felt like a bit of a fool. Since then I have noticed many people doing the same. The politeness of the bow is so essential and expected and custom that no matter what situation you are in, you bow. I’ve seen people carrying countless bags of shopping and still mastering a bow to a fellow heavy bagged up bower. Despite this, people happily do it and they do it with passion and grace. I once saw a couple having a bowing competition on the pavement. It was so funny. They were competing to see who could get their forehead closest to their feet. He won. I want bowing to become common place in my life. When I eventually return to the non-bowing lands of the UK, I will be introducing some sporting bow techniques to my friends and family. So if you’re listening folks, get working on those back muscles, because I will be expecting a bow from you every time I see you, or give you something, or even think about you.

Thank you. (I’m bowing now, as I type – seriously)


(THE PICTURE - I am not bowing, but this is the kind of angle one would expect to see, and execute)

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Coming Soon.

Coming soon to a web page near you, a blog update. Apologies for the late arrival of this release. I would shoulder the blame but my companion Giovanna is shite at writing blogs, frequently, and I seem to have caught her 'slow finger' disease. I will not promise that the latest addition to my blog will arrive soon, but I will tease you and say it will happen soon, and that it will be about the over zealous-ness of Koreans and their polite stooping (Stooping is more commonly known as Bowing, which is the act of lowering the torso and head as a social gesture in direction to another person or symbol.
Meanwhile, this is a picture of me wasting some time with my camera and it's new assitant Captain Tripodia.