Spending a Penny? take a minute

An empty bottle of water. It will make sense later.

Ever had to take stock before you walk into a bathroom? Not talking about your bathroom at home, but maybe the one you use at work, or maybe the one you use at your local, or the one in your favourite department store. I’ll be talking about the trials and tribulations of my trips to the bathroom at my Korean Kindergarten.

Going to the bathroom at work/school isn’t ever a simple procedure. It has turned into a calculated task, that isn’t as simple as ‘spending a penny’. “Can I go to the bathroom please?” is one of the very first full sentences the kids will learn at English school. The boys bathroom consists of three fully functional urinals, two child sized sit-downs, and then two adult sized sit-downs. There are also another three urinals, but they’re out of order, always have been, always will be. The urinals are probably two feet shorter than your custom urinal. This obviously means I have to immediately bend at the knees, which at first created a whole new peeing technique, now after two years I have mastered. The main problem about going to the bathroom is the kids fascination at what you have got. Every time, EVERYTIME, I’m in the bathroom peeing, and a kid walks in, you can be assured that they will stand at the urinal next to you, and they will cast an eye over. Again, at first I had to get used to this, but now I’m already well and truly shielded from any possible on-looking curiously minded Korean child, before they walk in. However, this doesn’t stop them. This didn’t happen to me, but it happened to Anthony. He was shielding, thanks to our self trained technique, but the kid wasn’t letting that deter him, he simply walked behind Anthony and then ducked down, between his legs and tried to look up. Luckily, Anthony had shaken and just put the attraction away, if not, then little Kyle may have had an early shower. Unbelievable!!!!

So kids ‘looking on’ is one thing, another is the kids very own technique of peeing. Some kids have some dignity and they lower the front of their trouser and pee, conventional style. Some kids undue their trouser and then pull them down, with pants, to the floor. Then they lift their t-shirts up to their chin, and if that wasn’t enough they stand back and fire it into the urinal. It’s like a well choreographed performance. The beauty of this is that the boys bathroom door is facing the girls bathroom door. The girls find it insanely funny, why wouldn’t they?, when they see a boy doing this. To be honest, it disturbs me quite a lot, needless to say if one of the little pee-ers is doing this when I walk in, I give them a minute, wait patiently until they have re-dressed themselves, before I take my turn.

So peeing has it troubles, how about sit-down time? If there is ever a moment that needs the ultimate care and attention at Kids Herald School, then this is it. If a kid sees you going into, or out of, the cubicle then fully expect a comment. The comment will then be taken out into the corridor where he will, definitely, tell anyone in sight that Toby Teacher is taking a shit. He will say in Korean, “Toby Teacher is pooing”. These days I never let this situation happen, I plan my cubicle usage very carefully. In the past, I have departed the bathroom to a chorus of kids pointing, giggling, basically pointing and shouting the word “POO”.

One last trial of going to the bathroom is in the afternoons. The cleaning lady washes the floors well before the day is up. Her technique is thorough. She mops, scrubs etc. then to wash everything she pulls the hose and drenches every last inch of the bathroom. The water takes a good hour to dry up and wash down the drain. During this hour, it’s a very questionable walking surface. The slippers that I wear to work, and perfect for ice skating. I have fallen down twice during this time. I have slipped and nearly fallen about 50 times. Every time my heart skips a beat. This is just another thing that crosses my mind each and every time I need to pee.

I need to pee about 10 or so times a day, I’m guessing. I drink so so so much water at work. A new hobby if you like. I drink so much, and go to the bathroom so much that one class of mine call me bathroom teacher. This seems a fitting way to end the blog.

The Marmite Debate

My comparison, to that of the yeast spreadable Marmite, is pretty straight forward. Korea is a country that, once you have been here long enough to understand it, long enough to pass some kind of judgment, most come up with either "I love it", or"I hate it".

There are a large number that fall in both categories. In fact I would like to challenge any "I hate Korea" person, to put their hand of their heart and say they completely dislike every aspect of the country. For me, this is impossible. I love this country dearly, but at the same time it can be hateable. To summarise, before I digress, I would say this country has a significant ability to keep people interested, keep them guessing, wondering, a huge amount of mysteriousness is behind peoples fascination with these lands. Nobody can truly understand exactly what the make-up of Korea is. I think this is why people stay here longer than they anticipated. I recall thinking to myself "I'm not done here, I don't know why, but I got another year in me". I wasn't driven by another years contract earning decent money or by a lady, although both of those two things were VERY VERY VERY good reasons to stay. I think the feeling was deeper. I'm still fascinated by everything this country offers. I think I'm addicted to the people, the food and the mysteriousness. I've read a few articles in The Korean Times recently, written by a Korean. He's a social critique. He's discussed some intriguing opinions of Korean people and their society. The most significant to mind is that he sees Koreans as a tribe. A tribe with a huge heart, and as within any tribe, the heart is focused on looking after their own. It's very true. This carries over into the justice system in this country. Of course there are elements of justice, but the justice is awarded by the heart rather than a rule or procedure. Our justice system is down to one word "Justice". In a car accident, for example, if a driver is drunk, then without question that person is to blame, that is the procedure of justice in regards to a drunken car accident. In Korea, recently, there was a incident where a motorcyclist, from the US, hit a drunk Korean man. The drunk man was J-walking on an area of road that, by law, should be lit up. It wasn't lit up. So we have a road that the cities council have neglected, a drunken man who is J-walking and a motorcyclist. The three of them find themselves in a court. In a court of justice, the monies owed would fall into the hands of the drunken man, for J-walking, and the councils for neglecting the law and not illuminating the road. However, in a Korean court of tribalism, the monies owed fell upon the motorcyclist. Is that justice?? No, not to the American. But is it justice to a fellow tribesmen? Yeah, sure it is.I don't have a strong opinion on this issue of justice, but it highlights a fascination that Korea offers. Koreans have a huge heart. The heart comes first. Sadly, the heart is for their own.

I'm currently planning a trip around India. I've heard from many people and publications that India has the biggest heart of all nations. The difference being, when considering the Korean heart, is that the Indian heart is open for all, where as the Korean is very much closed and only open at rare times, and of course, for their own.

Tears way before their bedtime

I have around 90 days left at my current school. I have spent my FULL TIME in Korea at Kids Herald School. So you're looking at two years employment with only a total of 5 or 6 weeks vacation in those two years. So, I have spent a healthy amount of time within the four brightly decorated walls of my private institution.

Over the last few weeks, having decided to definitely leave the school, I have started to think about a few special kids. I've mentioned before that you get attached to kids on more than just a teacher-student basis. Some kids you chat to their mothers, and you get a bit of inside information on their family and relationships begin to blossom. One mother bought me a pizza the other day because she, and her two daughters, both of whom I teach and have taught, felt sorry for me being in Korea, without my family. The most of the mothers in this system of education are insane and completely irrational, but there are a few that stick out as seriously thoughtful and warm people. One mother wanted to take me to a nice restaurant, with her whole family, to thank me for teaching her son. She decided upon giving me a restaurant voucher instead because she thought it would be too uncomfortable for me to sit with her normally large Korean family, she was right.

My thinking right now is that I can't wait to get out of the school and have some down-time. But then I think of a few faces that I will dearly miss. The three kids that I know I will miss are Sarah, Angela and Bookie. There are of course a whole lot more. These three have all been brilliant. Weird and wonderful kids. Cute and crazy.

Having spent, on average, about 5 hours a day with these kiddies, it's hard to tell how it's going to feel when I finally leave them. To see a kid grow from the age 4 to 6, you do see a heart warming transformation in a child, that I was a big part of. I can predict (and probably confirm) that there will be some tears on my last day.

Here's an early picture of Sarah with a bloody snake around her neck.

Here's Angela refusing to have a bloody snake around her neck.

Bookie is the one on the left. Sara is worthy of a mention too, she'll be missed.

Rain

Not particular reason as to why I haven't written a blog in a while. I guess in the same fashion as when I do write blogs, I wrote them for no reason other than I wanted to. Recently, I haven't wanted to write anything.
Today, I suddenly feel like writing a blog. As I'm writing I have no idea what I'm going to write about, how much I'm going to write, but I do know what images I'll be including. Yesterday was a typical day of rain in Seoul. One of those days when it just doesn't stop raining. On some of those days the rain will be torrential and the whole city is a wash. This Saturday was a drizzly day. One would be ok walking from their house to the station without an umbrella, if they didn't mind a light dampening on their knitwear. I decided to put my 70-300mm lens on my camera and take some shots. I had a umbrella in one hand and the camera in the other. Manual focus whilst holding the umbrella did prove challenging, but it actually made me slow down my shots and take a little more care when composing. I'm quite happy with the results. I went out knowing that I'd be mono-chroming the images once I got back to base. I played around with the levels on photoshop and have managed to create some fairly professional looking shots. Not bad for a hungover amateur photographer with a questionable umbrella above his head.





We had teachers day last week. I got some decent gifts.
In order of my likeness, worst first.
A handkerchief,
3 oranges,
3 sachets of instant coffee,
A diary with many pictures of coffee from around the world,
50,000 won restaurant voucher (about £27)
50,000 Coffee Bean coffee shop points card.

The coffee points card is an amazing present. I was so overjoyed at receiving this gift that I had to tell as many people as I possibly could (You know that feeling when something good happens). My new kids have started to call me coffee teacher. They have presented this to me as my official nickname. The chants of Toby Teacher have been replaced. Even the mothers make reference to my new nickname in their monthly student files. This was the basis for the coffee related presents. The reason they call me coffee teacher is because I drink a cup of coffee every morning. I guess that justifies.

Nothing extraordinarily exciting has happened to me in the past few weeks, months. JOKE, Rick did come to Korea, and at the same time he did enjoy his 10 day holiday here in Seoul. He loved the food, the nightlife and the general tick that Seoul has. It's pretty good place to visit it seems. Shame Korea doesn't sell itself to the world more so, but having recently read a lot in to their history it's no wonder they aren't forthcoming with open arms. Rick and I, hired a car (I got my Korean driving license a couple of months ago) so we drove to an island just off Incheon, the airport area. The weather in Seoul was high 20's, with it possibly touching 30 during the peak hours. On the island, I would estimate it was about 8 degrees. A rather large, and moist cloud had parked itself on, yes on, not above, the island. We were in a cloud for our 24 hours on the island. But we had underfloor heating in our beach-hut, which was 20 metres to the sea, which we couldn't see because of the cloud, so all was good. Happy memories.

Think I'm going to wrap this up. I did have a few more ideas for this blog, but a friend just called and they've sidetracked my thinking and I've completely forgotten what it was. Here is another rainy pic.....

See you soon.

DELAYED

This blog has been delayed due to extreme weather conditions in my life. Not really extreme, just need to relax for a bit. More focus has been on going to the gym, un-winding and more recently, enjoying other pastures, away from blog writing. The forecast is good so I expect the updates to be more frequent and of significance soon.

I can say that I will return to the UK at the end of August for a break. The duration of this break is still in the balance but it will be longer than three weeks and probably shorter than three months. We'll see.

Sports

One year, seven months, lots of experiences. Countless memories, some joyful, some life curving, but all significant in the wrapping of my time here in South Korea. Within this time frame I have been to two sporting events. The thought of it makes me feel sick. How can I document to myself and other people that, "I like all sports"? I have been to just two major sporting events.
In fact, when I was back home for 3 weeks I went to two football games and one day of cricket. My first sporting event in Seoul was a football game during my first week and my latest addition to sporting experiences in another country was a baseball game yesterday. It was great fun. I shared the experience with a fellow Brit, like me had never been to a baseball game, and then a Canadian, who knew a fair amount about baseball and then Jason, an American who would proudly put baseball at the top of his pecking order of sports.
Throughout the game we were all calling upon our sporting experiences, with the focus being on the atmosphere and action of the fans. It seems that in all sports, that we discussed anyway, that football (soccer for the North Americans out there) is the only sport that has negative banter between its supporters. Jason was quite surprised to hear that on occasions (every game), the fans will hurl abuse at referees, opposition players and also their own players. He found it quite amusing that a Spurs fan would enjoy chanting "Viera, whoooohooa, Viera, whooohooa, he wants to leave the scum, cause Campbell wants his bum", as an example of many that I gave. Another being, "The referees a wan*er".
After my experience yesterday, at the very clam and respectful baseball game, I felt a desire for my blood to be pumping at a Spurs game. I do miss the atmosphere at a Permiership football game, and all the abuse and negative verbal slants that one will here during the 90 minutes should not be taken too seriously. This kind of electric language is what gives our great game the edge over most when it comes to being a spectator sport. I think passion is the word.
Passion was definately evident at the baseball yesterday. During picthes there was a atmospheric bouyancy that any sporting event would be proud to present. The difference between a British football game and a Korean baseball game can be summarised by one of their songs. The theme tune to 'Inspector Gadget', was blasted out of the stands, and to the crowds delight they would tweet "dudt doooo", at the end of the sample..... awe inspiring.
Here are a couple more pics from the baseball......

The Marmite Debate

My comparison, to that of the yeast spreadable Marmite, is pretty straight forward. Korea is a country that, once you have been here long enough to understand it, long enough to pass some kind of judgment, most come up with either "I love it", or"I hate it".

There are a large number that fall in both categories. In fact I would like to challenge any "I hate Korea" person, to put their hand of their heart and say they completely dislike every aspect of the country. For me, this is impossible. I love this country dearly, but at the same time it can be hateable. To summarise, before I digress, I would say this country has a significant ability to keep people interested, keep them guessing, wondering, a huge amount of mysteriousness is behind peoples fascination with these lands. Nobody can truly understand exactly what the make-up of Korea is. I think this is why people stay here longer than they anticipated. I recall thinking to myself "I'm not done here, I don't know why, but I got another year in me". I wasn't driven by another years contract earning decent money or by a lady, although both of those two things were VERY VERY VERY good reasons to stay. I think the feeling was deeper. I'm still fascinated by everything this country offers. I think I'm addicted to the people, the food and the mysteriousness. I've read a few articles in The Korean Times recently, written by a Korean. He's a social critique. He's discussed some intriguing opinions of Korean people and their society. The most significant to mind is that he sees Koreans as a tribe. A tribe with a huge heart, and as within any tribe, the heart is focused on looking after their own. It's very true. This carries over into the justice system in this country. Of course there are elements of justice, but the justice is awarded by the heart rather than a rule or procedure. Our justice system is down to one word "Justice". In a car accident, for example, if a driver is drunk, then without question that person is to blame, that is the procedure of justice in regards to a drunken car accident. In Korea, recently, there was a incident where a motorcyclist, from the US, hit a drunk Korean man. The drunk man was J-walking on an area of road that, by law, should be lit up. It wasn't lit up. So we have a road that the cities council have neglected, a drunken man who is J-walking and a motorcyclist. The three of them find themselves in a court. In a court of justice, the monies owed would fall into the hands of the drunken man, for J-walking, and the councils for neglecting the law and not illuminating the road. However, in a Korean court of tribalism, the monies owed fell upon the motorcyclist. Is that justice?? No, not to the American. But is it justice to a fellow tribesmen? Yeah, sure it is.

I don't have a strong opinion on this issue of justice, but it highlights a fascination that Korea offers. Koreans have a huge heart. The heart comes first. Sadly, the heart is for their own.

I'm currently planning a trip around India. I've heard from many people and publications that India has the biggest heart of all nations. The difference being, when considering the Korean heart, is that the Indian heart is open for all, where as the Korean is very much closed and only open at rare times, and of course, for their own.